As a child she still lives in the world of doing things for the first time and she still has many, many first ahead of her! Some will make her blossom while others will break her heart. As much as I want to wrap my arms around her to protect her I would be doing her a disservice. She has to forge her own way in the world while I offer guidance and support from the sideline hoping that she sees that invisible cord of love between us.
So it got me thinking (no surprise there) about how many firsts I have in my life today.
I have to admit that I am a creature of habit. The routine of the school term offers me the outlines of a flexible structure that I build my daily activities around and there is a lot of doing and list ticking. The hours of the day are for doing and being on the go.
This school holiday, my son looked at me one morning, put his hands on my shoulders and out of the blue said to me; “Mum, this morning I want you to sit on the red couch and read a book.”
And I did.
What a luxury to be sitting on the sofa at 10.00am on a weekday, drinking a cup of tea and reading a novel. Reading is one of my joys in life. I love it and I always have. Growing up the librarian at the local library was an important adult in my life. Now reading is something I do before I fall asleep at night.
We think of firsts as ‘big ticket’ items. It starts with walking, learning to talking, and progresses to doing things unsupervised until you are waving good bye on your first adult free holiday. Then its’ your first real job, blind dates and before you know it you are picking your child up from big school for the first time and navigating the mums in the playground.
So Miss 9 got me thinking about the big firsts quickly followed up by Mr 11 and his directive to sit and read a book.
Now I am looking for the subtle firsts.
- Like noticing what is around me right now.
- Like standing in another shoes before I pass judgment on their choices.
- Like not listening to the negative voice in my head.
- Like giving myself permission to spend half an hour doing something I love just because it makes me feel good.
These are all the silent firsts that nobody else sees.
But do you know what, even thought they don’t see them they feel them.
What are your silent firsts?